A couple of days ago, my Netflix queue recommended the TED Talk Life Hacks and I obliged. The first episode launched into Amy Cuddy’s study on body language. Are you yawning? Don’t.
|Amy Cuddy, TED Talk|
Amy Cuddy is a professor at Harvard Business School and delivers a research-dense sociology report on body language and it’s effect on your life. Stop yawning.
While the discussion is worth the 21 minutes of your life, the final point is exceptional. “Fake it until you make it,” is an important adage, but Dr. Cuddy propels the statement forward, tearfully encouraging that you “fake it until you become it.” Whatever desires are in your soul, work hard to make it happen, but don’t just settle there. Continue forward, until you become exactly the person you desire to be.
People sometimes turn to significant others for help in validating who they want to become, but this is temporary at best. Questions like, “Am I special?” Or “Does this make me look fat?” accomplish momentary satisfaction or (more) momentary angst. It is a constantly insufficient battle that will need to be fought indefinitely because the underlying issue is of more permanence. A person needs to believe they are pretty for an external affirmation to register. If you don’t feel special, this needs to be addressed within. So, fake it. Pretend that you are the most special person (albeit a tad egotistical) for a bit.
No one is able to generate self-worth for you. They can encourage and support who you are and what you love about yourself, but they cannot create something that doesn’t already exist within. So, strut around, dance in the mirror, and give an acceptance speech for the Golden Globe you just won. Fake it, until you become the person you dream about being. As Kid President eloquently pepped, "We were made to be awesome."
This spans into every area of life. If I want to be a professional writer, then I need to fake it until I become it. This means, posting on my blog like I have hundreds of thousands in the audience clinging to my every word. I need to be reading like it’s my day job, studying my craft and participating in workshops. If I want to have the best marriage, then I need to post the cheesy pictures with equally cheesy captions until we slowly become that cheesy couple that’s so in love, even hash-tags become subjected to the affection. #lovehim #besthubbyever #solucky
As a writer, integrity and transparency fuel the stories, and while it's not all "diamonds and rosé" recognizing my dreams and pursuing them unabashedly is outstanding.
It’s your life and it will be what you will.