Wednesday, October 19, 2011

the happiness of our parents

What a perfect fall day! George and I went to the dog park where he simply ran laps, enjoying the weather, in between little play sessions with the other dogs. It was a beautiful morning. And I'm wearing this next time (as oppose to sweatpants!):
One of my favorite blogs had the brilliant idea of an article club. From many angles it's a genius concept, the commonly short attention spans, the varied interests, the short time commitment, but what solidified the idea in my mind was her first article selection, a Modern Love column from the Style section of The New York Times. I have read this column religiously for 5 years and am still trying to muster the courage and organize my thoughts enough to submit my own. 

But when I read the selected column, it was this quote that stood out in my mind:

“It’s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents’ happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who’ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy."

What are your thoughts on this? Everyone has sad moments, but at what point is the line drawn for inappropriate sharing on the part of the parents? I've recently been thinking a lot about the happiness of my own parents and at what level I need to be invested in their well-being. They raised me and sacrificed a great deal to give me this life, but it's hard to constantly be stressed about their happiness, which, frankly, I'm unable to control.

While I would want an open and honest relationship with my parents, I am increasingly leaning towards the ignorance is bliss camp when it comes to children. Even as adults, they are still their parents' children and this relationship is the foundation for so much more. 

1 comment:

Sara said...

I think within the Family parents should be a sub-unit and children/siblings should be another. I agree with the quote- our role is to take care of our children and their happiness, not the other way around.

As an adult in my own marriage, I am in a new phase of relationship with my parents, one that is more open but it's at a time that I am no longer a child and it's ore "age appropriate"